talesofacurlyislandgirl

Reflecting on 2018

Let’s talk about 2018.

It has been the most amazing year for me. You know how everyone keeps posting their top nine on Instagram? Well let’s do a top ten on this blog post. I want to reflect on all the awesome things that’s happened for me in 2018:

I was published four times this year! Poems and photos in UH Hilo’s Art & Literary Magazine, Kanilehua; an essay in UH Hilo’s Academic Journal, Hohonu; another essay in The International Journal of Arts & Sciences (Humanities); and finally a short story in an anthology (released on Amazon). This all happened in the spring and summer.
I participated in Read Across America. That was important for me! Watching college students do this for us as children, made me very happy to give back in such a way. (March)
I had the privilege and honor to attend Merrie Monarch for the first time in person. It was amazing, and definitely a once-in-a-lifetime experience. (April)
After 5 years of school, I finally graduated with my Bachelor’s degree (May). I was so proud to have walked with my dear friends and to have had support from everyone. My last year of college was so much fun, I learned so much and made so many new connections.
My husband and I finally got married after 7 years of long distance dating. It resulted in me moving away from home for the first time, and it was tough. I’m sure you all remember from my posts. But I am so grateful and thankful! (May)
I got to spend two months with my girls and my husband up in WA. We got so close and went on many adventures. I also attended my first concert, it was G- Eazy. (June & July)
We got our own first place together in Oahu and have had many “first” memories. Our first Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, (and now New Years). (August up til now)
I got my very first “adult” job. It doesn’t always feel the best to go to work, but it feels awesome having my own money to spend/save. My co-workers are the real bonus. My supervisors are the best. (August up til now)
My best friend also moved to Oahu shortly after I did. Now I don’t feel so alone here! So glad to have that touch of Hilo here with me. (September)
I went back home for my birthday and to surprise my dad for his birthday party! It was so nice to be home, but I miss it already! (November)

If you haven’t already, take some time to reflect on all the wonderful (or not so wonderful) things that have happened in 2018. Take a look back at the year and see where things could have been better or how awesome they were, that you couldn’t even imagine it being any better. Thanks for being on this year-long ride with me. I truly appreciate the people who take the time to read what I write, and I really do hope I can be even better in 2019.

My focus in the New Year is to do more of what I love. To read, to write, with passion and happiness. We should all have our souls on fire for the things we love. May your new year be just as amazing as you are.

Happy Curl, Happy Girl

Signing off,

Curly Island Girl

Removing Toxicity from your Life

It’s coming to the close of 2018. That means that I’ve been blogging for almost a year! I just wanted to log on and talk a little bit about toxic relationships and thoughts. I’ve been actively working towards trying to keep my mind healthy and with that is the start of removing anything toxic in my life.

Toxic relationships can be in the form of lovers, family members, long time friends, coworkers (a job), basically any interaction with people. Its really important to rid that from your life. When I was younger, my mom told me that the people you hang around with will reflect on the way you view life and the type of person you are. I never believed her until I realized in my teen years how toxic some of my friends were. I stopped hanging around with them.

If you had the worst year, odds are it was from the people you’ve been constantly interacting with. I’m hoping if you are reading this, you already cut that out of your life, for the sake of your sanity, of your own family, and of your own soul and happiness. Everyone deserves to find happiness, and if finding it means you have to quit hanging around with your family or cut off your best friend of 15 years, it’s time to do so. Don’t feel bad about it, because as bad as it sounds, it’s okay to be selfish in this way. It’s okay to want to have a life filled with love and joy.

Removing toxicity from your life doesn’t always mean people. It can also turn out to be negative thoughts that make it worse for you. I know in my past post, I brought up what has been grinding me down, here in Oahu. I proactively decided I would go back to reading. I have a couple of unfinished books and one coming in the mail this week that need to be read. I ordered 3 year journals to inspire me to be more creative in my writing and to reflect more on my life and my relationship with my husband. I have also decided to be a little more positive at work, rather than dragging myself around. Don’t get me wrong, I work hard, but a junk work environment doesn’t help. If I can be that little light that my co-workers see every day, I want to be that for them.

I hope to be writing more in the new year!!! You should see more of me (January 1st is my one-year anniversary). I want to thank you all who have been reading my posts. Even if its a small amount of you, and even if you have only read a couple of them, I still am very grateful that I am able to touch someone’s life with words.

Mahalo piha and Mele Kalikimaka,

Happy Curl, Happy Girl

Signing off,

Curly Island Girl

Growing Up?

Hi guys,

It’s been so long since I have sat in front of my laptop and wrote something. What’s been heaviest on my own heart, and in my own life right now, is my lack of spiritual and mental growth. No one tells you growing up means having to do things you don’t want to but need to for security in your finances. No one tells you growing up can mean you’re so busy that you can’t spend the time diving into what you really want to: books, reading, and writing. I feel like I have gained so much, a husband, a home, a new life, but I have lost some things along the way. I don’t like to say I have “lost” them, but I do feel like they have been archived to some level.

I want to not be so exhausted from working that I have no time to read. I want motivation to read and be lost in a book. I want to write more. It’s almost been a year that I have started Tales of a Curly Island Girl! I feel like I have so much more potential, but I feel like right now, I just can’t reach it. Although I feel like I am not doing enough, I am incredibly grateful to have a job that pays good, I have a happy home, and my relationship with my husband is the best I could ask for. I’m not even entirely sure why I am writing this. I almost want to delete this (or never post it). But for those who know or maybe don’t even know me personally and only know me as Curly Island Girl, maybe it’s best you see me vulnerable. We are only human. We have great potential, we have many reasons to be grateful, and I am. However, I feel like I need to do more. I need to push myself to be more. It doesn’t ever seem like I have that many hours in a day to do everything I could possibly want to do. I have anxiety about a lot of things, if something is going to happen, I feel the need to be meticulous about the planning and preparations. I just want to be better at making time to do the things I love and force myself to do something that is going to open my mind the way that college did. I miss it so much. I want to do something with my degree, and I feel like its being wasted away. Help! Most times I feel like I need help, haha.

At least I’m back writing! Thanks for letting me be vulnerable with you. I really hope I have something to discuss the next time I’m online. It’s been so long!!! We need to continue the conversations (Just Think About It).

Happy Curl, Happy Girl

Signing off,

Curly Island Girl

The Small Things

Sexual assault and sexual harassment have always been a problem. Always. Although in the last year it has been brought up more often, brave souls have shared their stories to bring awareness to the situation that we face. Both women and men can be victimized, but that is not what this post is about. This post is about the small things that women deal with daily. The small things that men may or may not realize that they do, which make us feel so uncomfortable.

Yesterday, I was in a town that I was unfamiliar with and I was walking with my purse in my work clothes searching for an ATM. A man stopped in his truck, rolled his window down, and just stared at me. He didn’t make any comments, I didn’t hear any “cat-calling,” but I felt so incredibly uncomfortable. I’m not sure if men know that the things they do make us feel uncomfortable. The tiny things like just staring for too long can make us feel unsafe. For the men who want to fight the problem, and may not have physically or verbally done anything wrong, should know that the things they do e.g., getting too close in proximity, staring too long, really scares us. I don’t want to speak for all women but I know many of my friends/family and I do so many things to avoid being harassed or raped.

I remember a point during my early years of college, crying and telling my husband (boyfriend at the time) that I didn’t want to be pretty because I don’t like when guys look at me or try to talk to me. You may not be a part of the sexual assault/harassment problem, but I think all people should take into consideration what the girl/woman feels when you get too close while talking or if you are left alone with them.

The other night I read a post on facebook that explained it so well. The woman talked about trying to sell her dryer and giving times where potential buyers could come and look at or pick up if they wanted it, but only when she knew her husband would be home. A man came and she used her judgement to decide if she would feel safe or not with only her and him alone. She thought everything would be alright, and it was for most of the time. He began to look her up and down and asked for help to carry it out of the basement. When she got sweaty he commented about how she was such a hard worker and that he bets her husband must enjoy her like that (all sweaty). gross.

In case you didn’t know…

We walk quickly to our cars and lock the door as soon as we are in.
We plan out how to walk or drive each other to our cars, so no one goes alone.
We watch our loved ones walk into the doors of their homes and shut the door before driving off.
We take detours on a street if we are walking alone.
We are extra observant when we are outside at night.
We don’t even wanna take ubers/lyfts/taxi’s alone.
We send our location to everyone.
We talk to someone on our phone if we have to walk alone.
We carry rape whistles or concealed weapons (keys in our fingers)

It’s the small things. Even if you never talk to her, what your body language is saying can make her feel sooooo unsafe. It’s important to be aware of that. Don’t be a part of the problem, help heal it.

Update on my Skin Care

It was hot at home on Big Island… and now it’s even worse in Oʻahu! My skin is still trying to adjust to more than usual heat. I’ve added to my skincare routine and since it’s been a while, I figured I would update you all! (Both face and body)

1. Face care routine

Cleansing: Shea Moisture African Black Soap with a soft face brush (exfoliating purposes)
Toner: I’ve just recently went back to using toner, however, this time to try and avoid too much stripping of my natural face oils, I’m using alcohol free toner. Thayer’s Witch Hazel (rose petal) is perfect! It cleans and takes off excess oils that my soap doesn’t remove. Before my skin completely dries, I move to the next step
Moisturizing: In the morning I use the Neutrogena Oil-Free Acne Moisturizer. At night I use a water-based gel moisturizer from Perfectly Posh- Gel Yes! I like that it’s really lightweight but very moisturizing, especially because I do an extra step at night.
Face Oil/Serum Step: I use a Perfectly Posh face oil called Love Me Dew. It’s light and you only need a few drops. It’s important to do a face oil step last in your routine, because once the oil is on, no other moisturizer can get through to your skin. Face oil helps to replenish natural oils that have been lost (and could be causing overproduction of oil during the day!). If you were to put a moisturizer after the oil, it would have a hard time penetrating through to get into your skin.

2. Body Skin Care Routine

Cleansing: I try to use good body wash, and right now I’m using Dove. I need to do more research but I’ve heard that Dove clogs pores because it has no sulfates. From my time as a CG girl, I know that sulfates can be very very drying, however, I’m not sure if that’s true for skin on your body. What’s most important about cleaning your body, is that you are exfoliating daily. Your skin sheds cells every day, we should probably wash it off more often than not. Get a Japanese scrubber to wash your body. It’s scrubs and cleans well.
Moisturizer: When I get out of the shower I put lotion on my body. My skin is normally really dry on my legs, so I try to get my lotion on as soon as possible. I use Aveeno!
Oil: I’ve recently just purchased the FUR ingrown concentrate and pubic oil. I think it’s much too early to tell whether it’s actually working or not, but I can tell you that the oil smells really good. The smaller bottle meant for ingrown hairs is pretty pricey, but the oil mixture is supposed to clean and reduce inflammation on your bikini line. The bigger bottle (much more worth your money) is just to make the pubic area soft (especially the hairs, if you have any). I put these on as soon as I finish doing my face skin care routine.

3. Other extra skin care:

I also just purchased my own derma roller with 540 needle measurement. A derma roller should always be clean with rubbing alcohol before and after every use. The needles make tiny holes in your face which trigger your skin to react and grow new skin to heal it. Afterwards I go straight into my normal face routine (after cleansing). I won’t do this type of thing every day. It can damage your skin if you go overboard.

I hope this gives you an idea of my new routines! I miss talking to you all, but it’s been so crazy working all day every day and then passing out from exhaustion as soon as I get home.

Happy Curl, Happy Girl

Signing off,

Curly Island Girl

The “Local-Boy” Syndrome

*Disclaimer: This is not an actual syndrome or an actual diagnosis. It is simply a way of describing the interactions with local boys from Hawaiʻi, whether they are positive or negative. enjoy.

The local-boy syndrome is present everywhere in Hawaiʻi. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. There is discussion with both the positive and negatives of this particular syndrome. Here is a little list to give you an idea of what it means to say, “ohhhh, he get local boy syndrome.”

Ehhh, the not so good things:

When he bring his boys over, play games, get rowdy, and spill beer everywhere
He leave the toilet seat up
He sees you from across the street, throws some shaka’s, and yells, “sup behbeh girl!”
“What, you like oof?” is in his daily vocabulary
He eats all your food
When he shoot you one word texts, “raj”, “k den”
Mumbling “k, love you” when in front his boys
Tells you to come over and hang out, but he sits on his phone
Treats you too much like one of the boys
Affection is not his strong suit
Instead of going out, he asks, “like go cruise?”
When they only drive lifted Toyota’s or souped up Honda’s
He calls you “brah” instead of “babe”
Always grouchy (uncle status)
When they rag on you in front of their friends, then say “I was only playing”
Tell you, “why you spend so much money on things?” but they spend just as much on their cars/trucks
They tell no need sunscreen, but they peeling and burnt for a week straight (and they tell they sore)
Hardhead, “no need instructions”
They take all the bed or the blanket
When they make like they related to someone famous in the islands

The better side of the syndrome:

He respects the aunty’s and uncle’s
He helps cook the food for family parties
Even if he isn’t as big or strong as he would like to be, his attitude/confidence helps to defeat the odds (local boy confidence)
He introduces you as his “old lady” (slang for my girl, wife, girlfriend)
Automatically helps break down after parties
when you bring him around family, he kisses everyone hi
At family functions, he won’t eat until you eat first
When you feel uncomfortable with people they ask “why you like me lick um” (fight)
He’s not shame kissing you in front everyone
Always checking up on you when you’re out together
When he asks, “like me make you one plate?”
Charges your phone in his car when it’s dying
When you first start dating and he takes you to meet his family
He spends a lot of money on you
When he opens your beer for you when you no more bottle opener
He kills the cockroaches!!!!!! (B-52’s!)
When you’re not feeling good and he takes care of you
He gives you his jacket when you’re cold or its raining
When he offers to get the car so you don’t have to walk in the rain or drops you off at the entrance so you don’t get wet
He remembers what you don’t like and like
When he got the connections (ex. my aunty work for so and so..)
Always willing to help when can (macgyver/Jack of All Trades)
Takes payments in food (grilled cheese)
He attempts to cuddle, even if it’s too hot

Everyone has their own preferences, maybe some of the bullet points belong in a different category, but for my friends and I (Tynsl and Jana!!!) they lean into these categories. It’s not bad, it’s not good, its just “local boy” syndrome.

What Marriage is like for a NewlyWed

Marriage.

Marriage is beautiful, in whatever way you would define it. My life completely changed after I got married, literally. I left home and lived in a place I was unfamiliar with, then my husband left me for an entire month (for training). For myself, this marriage has been what many old-timers would call pretty “traditional”. When I got married, I moved from my home with my parents and siblings. My husband and I had never lived together, nor really spent a night together up until that point. I was terrified. We talked about it a lot, before we even got engaged (yes, being together for 6 years before I even got a ring, we had definitely talked about everything), and we really wanted to live with each other. We didn’t know each others habits, we didn’t know how each other slept, etc. It’s different. We barely even spent much time together; we were long distance for 6.5 out of the 7 years that we were dating.

Again, I was terrified that we were not going to be compatible together. A lot of my friends and family did encourage me, knowing full well how in love we were with each other, but they did express some concerns in the beginning. I shared these same concerns. What if we hated the way each other lived? The way we did or did not do the dishes enough. The way we washed the clothes. Or maybe even the way we put our clothes in the laundry.

In the first month after our marriage, we were temporarily living in Washington state. I am a very family-oriented individual, and it was really hard for me to adjust, even if I knew we were coming back to the islands soon. I really enjoyed it. The first month together. I learned about him and his habits, and he learned about me. It was a real trial run, I guess you could call it, even if we technically had already signed our lives away to each other. I enjoyed it! It was amazing.

Now that we are back in the islands, we have our own place, we have vehicles; we are what we would call “adulting”. I mean, he’s been adulting way longer than I have already. He left home right after graduation, and joined the military. But, now I really am at this self-reflective point where every night after work, I just stare at him and thank the Heavens for all the blessings I have received in my life thus far. We are very happy with each other, with the way we live, and the way we work together (which is very well).

Many old-timers may also call this, “The Honeymoon Stage”. It hasn’t been all bliss as people normally would say this stage is, we’ve definitely gotten into arguments, but nothing really serious. It’s mostly me being petty. haha. It is also, most definitely not all unicorns and rainbows, but 90% of the time it is. My husband shows me that he cares, in ways that are not normal. My friends and I call this “The Local Boy” syndrome. Local boys in Hawaiʻi are different. They show their love in different ways, but you can see it and you can feel it. My favorite part about my husband is how handy he is. I swear, he is part mechanic, part-plumber, part-electrician (not so much part-maid though) and part everything else. It’s amazing for me because I can’t do the things he does. But I pull my part with having a job and sharing the cooking and cleaning duties.

Overall, it is beautiful. My marriage is amazing. I think we are doing very well right now as newlyweds, we have lots of support and love from the special people in our lives. I wanna give a huge shoutout and mahalo to our families for being so helpful in our transition to our very own place! We are grateful, and we know how blessed we are.

*If you haven’t heard in recent news of Hurricane Lane, where I live in Oʻahu was not really affected. But our hometown got hit pretty bad with severe rain and flooding. Keep our islands in your thoughts and prayers!

Happy Curl, Happy Girl

Signing off,

Curly Island Girl

Quick Life Update: Settling In

Hi Everyone!!!

I’m officially back in the islands ( I have been for a couple of weeks already)!

My husband and I have been settling in to our new place in Oʻahu. My in-laws flew up from the Big Island to help us get our things together and buy appliances/furniture that we needed. The first weekend at our new apartment, we also attended my husband’s cousin’s wedding in Kapolei. It was absolutely beautiful, and I’m so happy for their new journey as a married couple as well! (We are twinning in this new marriage, haha). His parents left soon after that weekend, and we had our last week before work started, doing all kinds of crazy adult things.

He had to get his truck legal in Hawaiʻi, and I needed get a vehicle (which I did! I named her Taimane; she’s a 2018 Chevy Malibu). After, getting a vehicle I had to get used to driving here. It’s pretty tough because the sheer amount of people living on this tiny island is ridiculous. I’ve been driving back and forth because my friend, Misty Girl, has been flying up here to bring me my boxes from back home and my other friend, Amanda, has been here for about a week and a half, staying in the city next to me. It’s been fun with them! They’ve been my buddies in helping me to learn to drive here. Side Note: I know how to drive, but Big Island doesn’t have any freeways and a lot less people, so it’s not hard to drive there.

This week was my first week of work, and it’s great! I love feeling useful in society, haha. I dress semi-professionally, with slacks and nice blouses, and I actually like dressing this way because I’ve never had a full-time job before. I stay at work longer than my husband, so when I head home (its a 20-30 minute drive, depending on traffic), he’s already home. We are both excited for this weekend, only because we have more time with each other. When we get home, we are both so tired and want to just eat dinner, shower, and go to sleep, so we are lacking time together. It’s fine, but you know, we are still newlyweds. This weekend, I also wanted to go buy more work clothes, and stuff for the apartment (we don’t have a vacuum, help! our floors are looking grim, and we need some night-stands, our phones are sitting on the floor next to our bed sides. So we have a huge shopping list right now, that I hope to check-off this weekend!

I want to seriously get back into a regular schedule of blogging again, but work keeps me really busy, I may just need to wake up a little earlier on days that I do want to post, so I can blog before I get ready for work.

I hope you have a fantastic and beautiful rest of the week!

Happy Curl, Happy Girl

Signing off,

Curly Island Girl

A New Adventure Awaits!

In 5 days, this island girl will finally be back in her home state! I will miss Washington a lot; mostly for my friends that I have made here and the natural habitats that surrounds me. It’s been a struggle being in a stagnant position. By that I mean, not working and not taking care of my siblings, etc. It’s been a wonderful two months of “vacation,” but I’m ready to start this new adventure.But first! Here are some pictures of the beautiful Pacific Northwest.

My husband and I are moving back to the islands (not to my home island, but the “mainland” of Hawaiʻi, or more commonly known as, Oʻahu). I have applied for a job and have done an interview over the phone, and I’m really hoping I get it! I didn’t think I would be as quick finding a job, but everything is turning out beautifully. We have a place already, we signed the lease a couple of weeks ago, and let me tell you, I have never been so stressed doing paperwork for my own apartment. I felt like a true adult. haha.

I’m ready to be back amongst local people, to hear Pidgin being spoken in normal conversation, to be in the same time zone as my friends and family, and to eat the food! If all goes well, in the next couple of weeks, I will be an employed resident of Oʻahu. In case you’re wondering, no, it is not my favorite island, but yes, it is the closest my husband and I can get to home. We are extremely excited for this new adventure. We will finally have our own place (together) and be able to start treating our lives as such. I think he’s mostly excited to get his truck back (oh and his Xbox). Our things arrived about a month ago, because we were supposed to be there a month ago. Alas, the military life doesn’t always go as planned, which is why we haven’t reached our next destination yet.

I’m blogging today because I know I won’t be back online until a couple of weeks have passed, because I definitely will be working hard on settling us in. We have lots of things we need to buy for our own place; we have no kitchenware, no dining room table, etc. Maybe, I will post pictures for you to see what our apartment looks like after everything is finished. I hope your summer has been amazing, for those in Hawaiʻi, it’s just about to end. Our children go back to school in a couple of weeks, and the colleges all start up again in about three weeks or so.

Have a beautiful last few days of July! And welcome in August and a start to a new adventure.

Happy Curl, Happy Girl

Signing off,

Curly Island Girl

Just Think About It: Limitations to Human Creativity

Disclaimer: This post could sound insensitive to some. I do not mean to offend anyone, I am simply looking at some heavier topics in a broad and critical perspective.

Creativity is important. Humans use it to express themselves. You may be drafting a story, writing a poem, building your dream car, sculpting a figurine, or painting a picture, but it all stems from a reflection of the artist, you.

Some of the most creative people have given the world beautiful gifts. Thomas Edison, Steve Jobs, Walt Disney, Leonardo Da Vinci, Stephen Hawkings, Marie Curie, Mary Wollestonecraft, etc. But, also, some of the most creative people have terrorized nations as well, like the Zodiac Killer, Ted Bundy, Edmund Kemper, Jeffrey Dahmer, Magadalena Solís, etc. Their plans were incredibly pre-meditated, horrific, and creative. Creative in the sense that what they do creates heartbreak for families, chaos for communities, and fear within the nations.

Here is where I believe that there are limitations to creativity. Being too creative, as mentioned above, is scary. Something new and daring, such as murdering your neighbor or the two girls that live down the road from you in a sadistic manner, can be considered art to a killer. It can be considered creative to them because it’s not the norm to be a murderer. Human experimentation could also be put into this topic of overboard-creativity. For those who have supported or do support (I can’t imagine why) it, believe that through their efforts of experimenting on people, they are able to understand the body and how things affect them.

I hope this isn’t too heavy for you, or maybe change the way you think of me. I swear I am a loving person. I just didn’t know how else to convey my opinions about this topic, without being blunt. Creativity gone far is definitely a topic to think about… however, you could also look at the limitations put on human creativity.

This topic is actually all too familiar with me. Graduating as an English major and a writer, I see that people do not always look at the humanities as a serious career path or plan. The humanities are the most creative division in universities. Yet, in schools that do not specialize in the arts, these departments are always lacking in faculty and funding. Why is that? Why does the overall census of people have to be that science and mathematics are more meaningful? It’s the balance, people. The balance of all subjects that make the environment harmonious. Why are we putting a damper on the arts, on the creative side of our brains? We shouldn’t be limiting that.

So… just think about it. Tell me what you think in the comments, if you disagree or agree, or even have a different take on this blog title.

Happy Curl, Happy Girl

Signing out,

Curly Island Girl