Tag Archives: life update

Riding the Struggle Bus

I have been struggling in every aspect of my life for the last several months – anxiety, body image, graduate school, relationships, finances, mental health, and everything else under the sun. This post is by no means a cry for help, I am fine, I promise you. I just feel like I’m going through the motions but its been extremely tougher than usual. And, well, the motions keep coming, in circles, over and over again for months.

And in all of this commotion, I am trying so hard to give myself some grace through baby steps and serious self-care. Not self-soothing – self-care. It requires extra thought and care in working on some of the deeper-seated issues I have in those aspects of my life. There are lots of tears and lots of arguing (with myself and others). But there is also lots of clarity. And even though its sad and its frustrating to take two steps forward and continue to fall back … I am reminded that healing is cyclical. Now, its not an excuse to be a total a-hole, but rather that its okay to fall back a little bit while you progress.

As most of you already know, my husband is currently a Marine recruiter. We’ve finished one year of recruiting duty so far. This has been by far the roughest time we have ever endured as a couple. It is the wildest roller coaster ride and is, without a doubt, one of the biggest factors in this struggle. And through all of my many waves of emotions, he has been as understanding as he possibly can. I can’t forget that although I am going through something, the people around me are also going through their own motions. Something I am actively practicing is looking inward instead of outward. Reflecting instead of pointing fingers. And it is so hard.

But I’m trying, and that’s all I can do. There have been wins and losses during the last several months. I hope throughout the next few years, I am able to process and balance all of these aspects.

I hope that by sharing a little bit about what I’m dealing with reminds you of the process of grieving the parts of you that are gone, healing the parts of you that are hurt, strengthening the parts of you that are weak, and reflecting on the parts of you that make you unique.

Happy Curl, Happy Girl

Signing off,

Curly Island Girl

Recipe for 2022

Ingredients:

  • 1 c of adaptation
  • 2.5 c of intentions
  • 6 c of sifted relationships
  • 1/2 tsp of curiosity
  • 1 block of unsalted self-care
  • 4 rolls of boundaries

Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit.

First combine adaptation, intentions, curiosity, and sifted relationships together, be careful not to over mix. 

Melt block of self-care and pour into mixture, blend. 

Unpack and unroll boundaries laying them in a 12×9 pan – pour mixture in and bake for 30 minutes. 

Serve immediately with a shot of espresso!

Chef’s notes:

I know I havenʻt been present for many months and its already a new year. 2020 and 2021 were whirlwind years – we hope 2022 goes much better. Although every new year we tend to make these changes, but as I have grown through these few years my priority is fully protecting my space, peace, and my boundaries. When I take care of myself, I can take care of the people that I love. When I am present with myself, I can be present with the people that I love. I challenge you to choose yourself and choose wisely.

Happy Curl, Happy Girl

Signing off,

Curly Island Girl

Whoops.

Aloha Aloha Aloha nui.

Guess what? I thought I had posted my “I moved” life update back in April … and guess where I found it? Sitting in my drafts. *face palm

E kala mai (I apologize), I thought I had updated you all, and I guess I have not. So here is a quick breakdown of that: We moved. If you follow my personal social media, you know what has changed, but if you don’t, well, we moved to Kailua Kona. We are originally from this island (Hawai’i island), but from the east side – in rainy Hilo. Our journey from Oʻahu to Kona was a rough one, I am so glad I took the break from social media so I could put my 100% focus into that. My husband is recruiting out here and its been about three months. So far, itʻs okay – I see him when I see him and it is only the beginning. If you know anything about Marine Corps recruiting, you know that it is the most difficult of all the branches.

I have some wonderful news to share with you, but you must wait a little longer for me to announce that. I really am so proud of myself! I hope you are all well and doing good. However, in the meantime I hope to post more regularly again … I need more ideas for sure, it can be sometimes rather hard to continue sharing (my life is not that exciting by any means). Here is what I am currently into:

  • Sunscreen for my skin – I really am trying to be careful about skin cancer and just the premature aging process in general. I donʻt mind aging, but I want to take care of my skin!
  • I started an OTC Retinol in addition to my regular Curology routine – See point above, haha.
  • I am trying to get back into reading (and writing, obviously) but while I do that I am incorporating scheduling and learning to time block.
  • Watching all of the cooking shows on all streaming websites – my fave right now is Sugar Rush.
  • Utilizing my iPad – I bought it for a reason and I am trying to do more things with it other than watching tv.
  • Exercising – Nothing too crazy and special, but I do try to workout every weekday. I do a 1.5 mile walk and either squats or deadlifts. I donʻt feel any different, but thats okay! I am happy for the movement.

I think thatʻs all for now. If you have any suggestions for some new pieces, or suggestions on books to read, please don’t be shy!

I miss you all! I am glad to post this.

Happy Curl, Happy Girl

Signing off,

Curly Island Girl

Taking a Break: Itʻs Time to Unplug

Happy Monday!

I wanted to say first and foremost, I am so sorry for missing last Thursday. Last week was a little rough for me (an emotional roller coaster) and my motivation was low and sitting in front of my laptop to write was not coming naturally to me.

Todayʻs post is about taking a break.

When you feel like youʻre drowning in negativity, work, terrible perceptions of self, personal relationships etc, itʻs a good idea to take a break. The first thing is to define what taking a break means for you. It could be taking time off of work, unfollowing or hiding feed posts from people that make you feel bad, starting (or re-starting) a hobby that can bring you joy and take your mind off of other things, and distancing yourself from negativity.

I am taking a break from social media, specifically my personal Instagram account. I have also started reading again. Iʻm sure you have noticed the struggle with negative perceptions of myself (especially in the last post), so I have decided to take a break from my Instagram account and drastically reduce the time I spend on Facebook for the month of March.

There are a lot of things and events going on for me in the month of March, so I think taking the break from social media will also be less distracting. I want to come back from the break, refreshed and positive, lol.

With that being said, I wanted to say thank you so much for keeping up with my posts, but I will also be taking a break from writing for the time being as well. If I absolutely feel like I need to write or share something, I will keep it in my drafts and share it later. I hope to be back in April!

I hope you continue to give yourself a break. Whatever that means to you, do it. Donʻt let the negativity of others get to you and prevent you from living your fullest and happiest life.

Happy Curl, Happy Girl

Signing off,

Curly Island Girl

My Morning Routine

Today’s post is a look into my personal life, just a snippet! My morning routine has changed so much from the start of this year, now that I have flexibility. And I love my mornings – I am most definitely a morning person. So here it goes:

  1. My alarm goes off at 6AM every week day – As compared to my 4AM alarm last year. I am not afraid to hit the snooze button though, haha.
  2. Use a heat pad on my eyes for 15 minutes – I’ve started slacking on this one and am just now getting back into it. I do these for my dry eyes. In the last couple of years, I’ve been diagnosed with chronic dry eyes which is largely due to being a contact lenses wearer. My dry eyes are caused by clogged oil ducts in my eyelids (they are very small), which means no oils are being mixed into the tears that naturally lubricate the eye. Heat pads on the eyes ensure that the oil is melting and lubricating the eye. Clogged oil ducts in the eyes can lead to worse things.
  3. I brush my teeth, wash my face, and moisturize. I know some people actually wash up after eating something (breakfast), but I was raised to do so right after waking up and before coming out of my room, so that habit has definitely stuck.
  4. I prepare my sister’s lunch bag. When my husband is back, I will also prepare his as well. This would include making the coffee too! Our coffee maker has a timer on it, so the coffee will start on its own as long as I remembered to prep it the night before, lol.
  5. I make my bed! Making my bed allows me to feel like something is complete, organized, and clean.
  6. I work out for 30 minutes. I roll out my yoga mat in the tiny walking space left in my living room – I make it work.
  7. I shower and get ready – sometimes its a dress, sometimes its leggings and a sports bra. It makes me feel more alive and in tune with a schedule of some sort. Sometimes I do my brows and sometimes I don’t, lol. But I almost always put some earrings on.
  8. Then I eat a little something – and sit down at the desk and start to work

It’s nothing crazy, but I felt it was something shareable and something personable.

How is your morning routine? Do you schedule in the time to do something for you and only you in the mornings? Maybe you’re not a morning person at all, and that’s okay too!

Happy Curl, Happy Girl

Signing off,

Tales of a Curly Island Girl

Life Update – (Once Again)

Bellows AFB

It’s been months. Once again.

How have you been doing? The last time I updated you, I was working from home. I went back into the office in June. So much has happened since then. Just to quickly sum it up before I go off on a tangent:

  1. I had screened and interviewed multiple times for a job (yes, one specific job) from March through September and was ultimately denied the position several weeks ago. I know, I know … what. lol
  2. I went through a really rough time recently and was projecting a lot of my emotions onto my husband and sister. I have since been working with a close friend on CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) to help me with cope with anxiety and depression (but mostly anxiety). It’s working very well.
  3. I started my search to apply for an online graduate program. I really hope to go back to school in the Fall of 2021.
  4. My husband and I found out we will be leaving Hawai’i in early 2021. I am slightly terrified.
  5. I found eco friendly and “zero” waste YouTube channels and became obsessed (mostly with watching). I switched over to a few things like, Blueland‘s multipurpose cleaning solution and re-usable cotton rounds.
  6. I have moved away from the CG Method. Not completely, but it was not serving me in the way that I needed it to. My scalp is so much better now.
  7. I make it a point do night caps (with tea). Every night, I wash the dishes, set the coffee for my husband for the next day, and steep some herbal tea. My favorites right now are Head Relief and Stress Relief and Immune Support with Echinacea.
  8. We got an iPad Pro and an Apple Pencil. I am not quite utilizing it to its full potential, but today I did start writing notes in the Notes app and shared it to the cloud so I can access it from my phone at anytime. I want to try and draw something, but I feel I am better with words the with art!! By the way, the justification for this purchase was for the size of the screen, it becoming a second screen to my MacBook, and my potential enrollment into a graduate program.
  9. I have been spending a lot of money on local businesses. I have fallen in love with everything local. Especially with the economic downfall right now, it’s so important to support your local businesses.

I may have forgotten some small things that happened between March and now, but I understand that I have not written much in a while. In fact, I have been doing “life updates” for as long as I can remember. I may just archive all of my current blog posts and sort of re-vamp what I write about. I am unsure if I need a theme, or if I need to just stick to one topic (lifestyle or whatever). I may just put a poll on my personal instagram page to get opinions or ideas on what to write about. Writer’s Block is not fun. I feel hindered. I want to be better at this!

Anyways, I hope to be back soon. And with fresher ideas and maybe a new “outfit” for the site.

Happy Curl, Happy Girl

Signing off,

Your Curly Island Girl

How to Work from Home (from a newb) – AKA COVID-19 Isolation

Hiiiiii…

I am so sorry that I haven’t written in so long. I look back at all my posts from 2019 and it makes me feel a little ashamed. I’m not going to go into what’s currently going on in the world, because at this point you should already know – COVID-19.

I do want to say my heart is incredibly sore for the people who are losing their jobs and having to close down their businesses because of this pandemic. I am incredibly fortunate to still have my job and my health and to be able to work from home to curb the spread of germs and this virus.

This is my first time working remotely and so far, I am only on Day 2, but I have noticed that these things work the best for a newb like me (in the realm of working from home). Granted, I don’t have children, so of course things are different for me than it would be for a parent, especially during this time.

If you have any tips or tricks, please, I am all ears. I am not sure how much longer I will be working from home but for the time being this is how I am approaching this.

  1. The time I wake up each morning to physically go into the office is the same time I am choosing to wake up. I don’t want to change my routine and risk sleeping in too long.
  2. Dress each morning like you’re going to work. I read earlier this week that someone who has been working from home for years always dresses up for work. This helps with the routine and doesn’t make you too comfortable sitting in the comfort of your own home which then you risk becoming too lazy to answer your emails and do your daily tasks.
  3. Feed your physical body. Eat something and get your favorite drink to start the day. In my case it is a dose of caffeine.
  4. Create your own space. Hopefully, the people in your home are okay with you commandeering living space! I turned my rather small dining table into my work desk. It will remain that way until I am back at my office desk, haha. Sorry, hubby!
  5. Take breaks. It’s honestly really easy to sit for hours and not realize how fast the time has gone without taking a break. Get up, stretch, walk around and eat something.
  6. When it’s time to clock out – clock out. Don’t look at anymore emails because it starts to meld into home life and I feel like that is a danger for those who do work at home on a normal basis. You don’t keep good boundaries (I have already done this in the past even with having an office job) if you don’t remove yourself.
  7. Now that I have more time (no more 35-40 minute traffic one way to sit in), I can keep my house more tidy, I can read, I can write, and generally, I am more happier. Enjoy the time you get to be in your own space. ‘

 

I am sure that some days I will want to just wear pajama pants and put on zero makeup at the beginning of the day, but right now, this is how I am working with the self distancing during this outbreak. I hope that I do more with my free time and be more productive before this period is up. ***I really needed this for my own mental health and sanity.

Please stay safe and remember that self-distancing is helpful for all even if you’re not sick or high risk. We are all safer when we all be smart.

Happy Curl, Happy Girl

Signing off,

Curly Island Girl

Where I Am Right Now.

I’m sitting here in bed contemplating over what I want to talk about. My brand new tv in the bedroom (thank you to my husband!!!) is making so much noise, but I hate the silence, so it’s gonna stay on. People are droning on and on about what they want in a small home and the AC is humming softly. I’m comfortable and I am content, but I feel like I am on autopilot sometimes. I am missing the one person that I really want to spend all day and night with. My husband is gone for some time and we are currently working through the extreme time difference. He is 18 hours ahead of me, which means we hardly talk. I try my best to stay up late for him to finish work, but I end up falling asleep (and it’s not even a good sleep). I wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning to respond to him and I end up already missing him because he went to sleep. It’s getting tough and some days I feel really alone. I get through half of my day at work and he is just waking up. While he is gone, I am dealing with my own issues. The AC in the living room is leaking over my downstair neighbor’s AC unit. My husband lost his phone in a foreign country and I have to send his replacement to him. I started my flashcards for learning Hawaiian, but I haven’t touched it in three days. My inconsistency in blogging makes me feel really bad. The skin on my face is freaking out from the heat and lack of hydration (the latter is entirely my fault). I keep spending money when I know I shouldn’t. My lack of motivation to be social is pretty sad and overwhelming.

 

But,

the bills are being paid. My friend is not leaving the agency I work for (I am so happy about this). I get to talk to my husband, at least once a day, and I have other friends who do not get this opportunity with their deployed significant others. I set-up an eye doctor appointment after living here for almost a year. I am actively working on getting a dentist appointment set-up. I have a home. I have a car. I am able to sleep (I do not have insomnia, but my husband does, and it really drains him). My family is visiting for a reunion in several days. My sister will be joining me soon to start her new journey in grad school.

 

I have so many things to be happy about. I am truly blessed and need to find the time to self-reflect on all the things I do have rather than what I am missing. I know my sadness and emotions are valid though. I know I can feel the way I want to with the situations that I am in. I have lots of anxiety doing things on my own and one day I hope to work through all of that. I have the support I need to keep pushing through, and that’s what really matters. This is where I am right now.

Where are you at in your life? What do you need to self-reflect on?

 

Happy Curl, Happy Girl

Signing off,

Your Curly Island Girl

 

What it feels like to be Married for a Year

Hi! Today i am writing from the iPad. I’m sitting on my bed in 68 degrees (thank God for the invention of AC), sipping on 12 ounces of Red Bull, while The Resident plays on Hulu. There will probably be a handful more typos and grammar issues in this post, and you know what? That’s okay.

We just passed our one year mark. Hence, the title of this blog post. I know I have been talking about my marriage a whole lot. I know you all have heard a lot about it already. I just wanted to remind you all, that before we got married, we hardly saw each other. The most was once a year for 2-3 weeks at a time. Our relationship has flourished. And I mean that in every way possible.

Our communication lines are open, we have set routines, we hype each other up, we keep each other humble, and we are overflowing with love for our life. I absolutely love my marriage. It’s unreal that it has been an entire year. We have grown tremendously in just a year. We still have another big challenge coming our way, but I know we will be okay. Distance makes the heart grow fonder for sure.

So the real question is how is a year of marriage?

It’s great! But, it’s not all sunshine and unicorns. People aren’t perfect. We will never be perfect, but we will love each other always. I’ve been mad, he’s been mad. I’ve slept on the couch because I was upset, and he didn’t even realize I was mad. This is why communication is important. We can’t read minds. We should talk about it, talk things through. We irritate each other, then we give each other space. You know? It’s a balance. I am so blessed to have this man as my husband. He takes care of me in the ways that I cannot, and in the ways that I’m just too lazy to do for myself. He makes me feel comfortable and I feel anchored around him.

I hope you all find someone that makes you feel that way too. Even better if it’s yourself! There’s no better feeling than feeling safe next to a person you know will hold you and protect you. I don’t have to change the way that I am to be with him. He knows my little quirks, he knows how needy I can be, he knows that I like to be spoiled. I also know what he loves and what he likes the most out of our relationship. We’ve worked hard over the years of our relationship to even get to this point. We aren’t going to let small things get in our way.

We are happy.

Thank you all for staying with me on this journey. I hope to post again soon on a personal project I am working on.

Happy curl, happy girl

Signing off,

Curly island girl

Creating New Habits

“I’ve started a new thing.” We hear that all the time don’t we? From ourselves, from our friends, from our family. But how do we start it, and keep going? My boss once told me, “You know what they say, 14 days and it’s a habit.” Oh, how we wish it were so easy. I can’t even get myself to make blogging a habit. Sorry, guys. *sad face. It’s actually 9:38pm right now. I’m laying next to my husband, who I believe is fast asleep. I hope the light from my phone isn’t bothering him too much. I’m not gonna post this until the morning, but I will have you know, that I am thinking of you right now.

I’ve spent money on these new habits. A great deal of money, but haven’t we all?

I used to have a really good habit of flossing and brushing my teeth every day. I know, I know, how mundane. But, it was amazing. My dentist even noticed. I got married, moved away, and lost that habit. I’ve since started again for the umpteenth time. I’m on day 3, of brush, Waterpik, then floss. My teeth and gums feel great. This is why I did it in the first place. Perhaps, for habits that we’ve picked up and lost repeatedly, we just have to remember why we did it in the first place. I think that helps (let’s just say, it does!).

Recently, I’ve just gotten myself back into drinking tea. Loose leaf tea – to be exact. I left a lot of my tea things at my parent’s house, but I did bring my very large collection of mugs with me. It’s been wasting away in the cabinet, and I’m happy they are being used (and getting coffee and tea stains galore). I bought new tea infusers and 5 different types of tea to try. Three are from Tiesta Tea, one is a Japanese green tea, and the other is a plain Lipton black. Before my Amazon order came in, I was drinking tea from a gift I got for Christmas. It really encouraged me to get back into it. Thanks Tyns. Every morning I wake up and put the kettle on and brew some tea (with caffeine, or if my throat is sore, an herbal one).

I have another habit that I am actively working on as well. On January 1st, my husband and I started a couples daily journal. It only allows you to write a few sentences each, but it means a lot to me. I know it’s already February 19th right now, and we are totally behind again. I’ve since decided (with the help of my sister) to set a timer every night to remind us to complete the daily prompt.

These are the things going through my head at night when I can’t sleep. What do I do everyday? How can I make each day better? How can I complete this task?

What do you think about when you can’t sleep?

Happy curl, happy girl

Signing off,

Curly Island Girl