It’s been so long since I have sat in front of my laptop and wrote something. What’s been heaviest on my own heart, and in my own life right now, is my lack of spiritual and mental growth. No one tells you growing up means having to do things you don’t want to but need to for security in your finances. No one tells you growing up can mean you’re so busy that you can’t spend the time diving into what you really want to: books, reading, and writing. I feel like I have gained so much, a husband, a home, a new life, but I have lost some things along the way. I don’t like to say I have “lost” them, but I do feel like they have been archived to some level.
I want to not be so exhausted from working that I have no time to read. I want motivation to read and be lost in a book. I want to write more. It’s almost been a year that I have started Tales of a Curly Island Girl! I feel like I have so much more potential, but I feel like right now, I just can’t reach it. Although I feel like I am not doing enough, I am incredibly grateful to have a job that pays good, I have a happy home, and my relationship with my husband is the best I could ask for. I’m not even entirely sure why I am writing this. I almost want to delete this (or never post it). But for those who know or maybe don’t even know me personally and only know me as Curly Island Girl, maybe it’s best you see me vulnerable. We are only human. We have great potential, we have many reasons to be grateful, and I am. However, I feel like I need to do more. I need to push myself to be more. It doesn’t ever seem like I have that many hours in a day to do everything I could possibly want to do. I have anxiety about a lot of things, if something is going to happen, I feel the need to be meticulous about the planning and preparations. I just want to be better at making time to do the things I love and force myself to do something that is going to open my mind the way that college did. I miss it so much. I want to do something with my degree, and I feel like its being wasted away. Help! Most times I feel like I need help, haha.
At least I’m back writing! Thanks for letting me be vulnerable with you. I really hope I have something to discuss the next time I’m online. It’s been so long!!! We need to continue the conversations (Just Think About It).
Happy Curl, Happy Girl
Curly Island Girl